Mens High Heels

As a transgender, Why am I who I am?

Why am I who I am? That is a hard question for anyone to truly answer. I just would like to understand why I feel so much to be a girl. I started out in my pre teens with dabbling in to moms closet. It progressed in to wearing panties and hose, then in to having woman’s clothing and a bunch of purging along the way so no one would find out. Oh My God, There was something wrong with me. I was just plain weird. I was the only one in the world that felt this way. NO! The times and internet has shown me there is thousand up on thousands of not just Bi-gender or transgender people out there, but transgender web sites, informational pages and groups online. There are a lot of live meeting support groups too. Now that I know there are many others that felt the way I did when younger, now I need to figure out why I feel that I am a girl trapped in this male body that the good Lord put me in. As time goes on the female with-in me comes out more and more. Some may think this is great. They may even say things like, “You Go Girl, Bring it out!” Even hear some things like “Wish I was as out/open as you”. Well, to tell the truth, “It is damn right scary. It works hard on ones mind on what is happening to our self. So, Back to the main question, Why am I who I am? Is it that I wear and have more women’s clothing than men’s. Maybe it is that I can go around the house and yard openly as the comfortable me {Ranae}. It might be my looks, {Long hair, Long nails, always a close clean shaved face, Hairless arms & legs, Both ears pierced, Trimmed eye brows}. It could be that being am out to not just my supportive wife but to the largest part of our family, neighbors, and friends who also accept me as me. It just might be that I go to the TG friendly clubs/bars with the groups. But when you really think about all this. None of this makes me the girl I am inside. It is that I am a inner girl in this guys outer shell from birth and all this other stuff just works to make me feel a little better about the inner me. I have asked myself, Could I do anything else to make me better? Then I realize that anything from hormones to implants to full bore SRS, would only change the outer shell and Sure, It would make one feel better mentally. However, it will never change or make me better, as I am Ranae and that is who I am on the inside and none of the above can ever change that. I fully understand some will total not agree with my statements here, But it is my feelings on how it is for me. Please, for anyone that has gone through any of the fore mentioned, I support you for what you have gone through in your journeys and mean no disrespect to anyone in any way. Ranae Cole So the real question is How is it for you to answer the question "Why am I who I am?"

Public Comments

1. That is way too long. Try and keep them more concise.
2. wow. woahh...
3. You are who you are because that's you.
4. Nobody here can answer your question. Only YOU can answer this question. It sounds like you have multiple issues that need to be dealt with. I highly suggest you speak with a GENDER therapist: http://www.DrBecky.com/therapists.html
5. I don't know. Some people say that it's just chance. Others that it's God's plan, others that before we are born, we plan our entire life out, pick our parents, choose all the bad things that happen to us, and we choose them to make us a better person, the person we want to be by the end of our life, because that's the only way that we can do it. I don't know though, I don't know why I am, who I am, I just know that's who I want to be, and I'm going to try so hard to be me. *Hugs*
6. I have a brother who is transgender and he says that he has felt that way since he was around nine. He is older than me, but me and him go shopping together. I'll support him until the day I leave this earth. I guess it is just the way you are. You feel more feminine than masculine. You only know what is best for you. All I can say is what ever you feel is natural for you or makes you feel comfortable, do it. There are doctors that you can talk to about you feelings and can help you. Live your life and be happy and free.